Financial Wellness

Our financial situation has the power to fuel or deplete our overall health and wellness which is why it is one the twelve areas in the IIN Circle of Life. For myself, I have always believed I had a healthy relationship with money because I had grown so much from where I had come from and that I never worry about not being able to provide for myself and my family. However, if I looked at any other area of my life that way such as my physical health, I realize what low standards I have been holding. In no other area of my life do I hold a "good enough" attitude. I am always seeking to grow, expand and learn more, so why have I allowed myself to take this naive stance with money?

When I took a deep dive and looked inward, I realized that even though I was doing alright financially, subconsciously, I didn't have a healthy relationship with money. There was a piece of me that had quite a bit of negative associations with money and financial wealth and what it meant about who I am as a person. There can be so many confusing emotions and beliefs attached to our financial situation and what it means or says about us. When we allow our financial situation to dictate our self-worth it can have a massive impact on our overall wellness and health. One of the best lessons I had was learning to "neutralize the numbers" and put myself through an unemotional and non-judgmental analyzation of where I came from, how I got where I am now and where I would like to see myself. While doing this, knowing that none of this has any bearing on who I am as a person on a soul level, it allowed me to be more honest and authentic about my situation exactly as it was.

• What is my current relationship with money like?

• Is it easy to take and honest look at where I am or do difficult feelings and judgmental opinions surface?

• What feelings come up when I think about sitting down to take and honest look at the ebb and flow of my income and expenses?

• Do I have a clear budget to keep me honest and on target?

Money psychology plays a huge role in our financial wellness and is often formed in childhood. What is holding you back from living the life of your dreams? Surprisingly, it often it has far more to do with our feelings and beliefs than facts. What our relationship is with money, the feelings it provokes when we think or talk about it, what we believe having it or not having it says about us. This journey is a blog post all in itself like all inner child and shadow work!!

Taking the time to look back on your spending patterns and then create a conscious spending plan can help you think about your money being more about where and how you are using your energy and what brings you joy in life. Let's have fun with this.

“Money is a terrible master but an excellent servant.”

~P.T. Barnum

The truth is that no matter how much we make, most of us live to the edge of our means. Many people making six or even seven figures are living paycheck to paycheck! Money management and how you allocate your income is almost more valuable than how much you actually make.

The three main dimensions when you begin analyzing your financial wellness are your monthly income, expenses, and savings. Learning about the 50-30-20 Rule changed how I approached my budgeting and forced me to get real with myself. I saw where I had room for improvement and where I was doing well. This simple spending ratio created by Manisha Thakor, MBA, CFA, is a quick and easy way to get on track.

She believes that your spending after taxes, should be broken down like this:

• 50% towards needs ~ food, housing, transportation, bills

• 30% towards wants ~ activities, restaurants, vacations, concerts

• 20% towards savings ~ 10-12% for retirement, 8-10% for an emergency fund (or debt paydown first)
  

A surprising statistic I learned is that 9 out of 10 Americans are over extended, not on their wants, but in their needs. Spending more on buying a house or car that fits their style but stretches them beyond their financial means. I was quite surprised that the area I was the most imbalanced in was overspending in my needs as well and I knew I was under contributing towards my savings. I was immediately determined to get my "needs" under budget but at the same time, happy to see that I didn't have to compromise my lifestyle and the things that bring me joy (wants). I was right on target there. Joy based spending is a lifestyle and technique I have subscribed to and have found that is has transformed my feelings, insecurities, and confidence with spending money.

Spend guilt free on the things you love and that make you, in your eyes, a better more authentic version of yourself and cut dramatically down on the things that don't align with your values. I will forgo the new outfit or the new couch because for me, it is all about vacations and life experiences! With my kids, my partner, girls' trips and even solo self-development adventures. I always feel that I return more grateful for the life I live, have a broadened perspective and I always say, "it takes a break from my routines to forget who I think I am and remember who I actually am."

Looking at every dollar in and out, in all areas of spending does require ruthless honesty and a bit of work but is so worth it! I recommend taking three months of income and expenses (one quarter) and categorizing them as Needs, wants, and savings (debt paydown first). Where do you most value spending your time and are you utilizing your resources so that you are living your most abundant life?

At the end of the day, the truth is that I don't think any of us really care about money. It is merely paper in our hands and numbers on a screen. What we really care about is the feeling it will give us whether we have that magic number or not. It's our own personal value based on what we have created in our head of what "doing well" or "being wealthy" looks like. I believe it's more about living the live we want to live! What is that feeling for you? If you were living your best financially wealthy life, what would that look like? What are you looking for your money to make you feel? Freedom? Adventure? Peace of mind?

All money is, is an energy exchange. Your time or energy reimbursed with the US dollar. What is your time worth? How do you most value spending your moments in the day? Maybe it's time for some time budgeting alongside creating a conscious spending plan? Make every day and dollar mean something!

All the love,

Pamela

Post Birthday Reflections

After having a whirlwind birthday weekend where my kids and I battled being sick for days as well as falling on Easter weekend, I haven't had enough time to truly reset my morning routine and intentions, which I will work on and start tomorrow morning. However, during a moment of reflection, a deep appreciation surfaced for possibly the biggest life lesson I have learned in this last year and I would love to share that with you.

We can not control the actions of others so how do we take control of the less than desirable relationships and situations when they feel as though they are infecting our lives?

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

When I began to change my state of mind, my state of being naturally followed, as did the rest of the outside world. When my predominant thoughts were that of gratitude, love, being of service, vulnerability and being as authentic as I could to myself in each and every moment, I began to function out of a state of flow where things effortlessly started falling into place. I found myself getting less stressed, less worried about the how and just knowing things would work out. Now again, I am human and far from perfect so this is not and all day every day, but I would say that it is a regular practice that I remind myself often, to live out of this state of intentional presence.

What has completely transformed my life this year, is that as I healed and brought deep attention to how I was treating and talking to myself and stopped focusing on how the perceived thoughts words and actions of others towards me, made me feel, an interesting phenomenon happened. I found a deep trust, love, and appreciation in all that I am and especially all that I am not.

I stopped allowing how others showed up around me to dictate how I felt and started standing strong in my inner truths of love and self-respect, and then spoke my truth from my divine feminine, those that did not align fell away. Simultaneously, that approach began to naturally deepen and richen my closest relationships to a level of intimacy that I could have never imagined as well as draw in new connections that reflect and elevate my values and beliefs.

What we focus on grows so the more attention we bring to the people and situations that are no longer serving us, we unfortunately, by that very action, keep them active in our lives.

Every day, I chose love, laughter, connection, mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual depth, expansion and intimacy and have had an absolutely amazing year!

We can not, nor should we ever want to control the thoughts words or actions of others. People are who they are. Surrendering and allowing people to show you who they are and believing them, while staying true to who you are and allowing things to unfold, blossom, or crumble as they are meant to, has been a life changing shift to witness within myself. This doesn't come without its efforts like boundaries and taking inspired action to stay on the write path, but for me, the process starts with the inside and then radiates naturally out.

May we all continue to grow into our more authentic actualized selves each year as we shine like the bright starts that we are!

All the love,

Pamela

Reflection

With my birthday just days away (secretly already celebrating in my head!), I love to take this opportunity to connect with who I was one year ago, on that very day. Doing this every year makes it very easy to tap into this process of reflection and resolution. I take the time to sit on my meditation mat with my journal, look myself in the eyes in the mirror and ask some high-mileage questions. This gives me the opportunity to expand my thinking, encourage exploration, and lead to greater levels of self-discovery. Having this honest conversation with myself allows me to be humble about where I see my potential for growth, build momentum and confidence for progress! Who have I shown up as for this last year? Where have I grown? Have I grown in the ways I expected? What has gone well this last year? What areas of my life could use some growth to feel like I am more authentically interacting with my life?

This year, I have decided to take this process a step further and begin a brand new "Birthday Journal" that I will only write in once or twice a year to set my goals, acknowledge my dreams and desires, as well as reflect on regularly to see how far I have come and celebrate progress and manifestations, no matter how big or small.

All too often, it is easy to feel stagnant and like things aren't really moving or changing but just like watching your own children grow, because we are in it daily, it's hard to see the shifts, however, it's the same as when we see a friend's child that we haven't seen in a year, we say "Oh my goodness! Look how big you have gotten!" Witnessing ourselves and our growth is kind of the same. Growth, evolution, and expansion are happening on a daily basis so we often don't take stock in the subtle shifts, but when we have a reflection routine, we can more easily measure the progress in a year's time.

“Self-reflection entails asking yourself questions about your values, assessing your strengths and failures, thinking about your perceptions and interactions with others, and imagining where you want to take your life in the future.”

~ Robert L. Rosen

Do you care to join me in my birthday celebration? Let's be grateful for all that we have been through to get us where we are, all that we have become, here and now, in this breath, in this moment and for all that we are actively becoming.

Saturday, 3/30, I will sit down, quiet my body, thoughts and emotions for a moment to dig deep and ask myself these questions ~

• On a scale of 1-10, how fulfilled am I in the 12 areas of the IIN Circle of Life?

  1. Joy

  2. Spirituality

  3. Creativity

  4. Finances

  5. Career

  6. Education

  7. Health

  8. Physical Activity

  9. Home Cooking

  10. Home Environment

  11. Relationships

  12. Social Life
      

• How does this compare to where I was last year? What has changed?

• What am I most proud of:

  • Mentally

  • Physically

  • Emotionally

  • Spiritually

• Where are my growth opportunities?

  • Mentally

  • Physically

  • Emotionally

  • Spiritually

• What do I need to let go of that is no longer serving me?

  • Mentally

  • Physically

  • Emotionally

  • Spiritually

• What am I no longer willing to tolerate that I used to settle for?

• What is the most pressing thing happening right now?

• What's working well in life right now?

• Where do I feel stuck?

• What am I most grateful for in this moment?

• What feels out of balance?

• What is missing?

• If I knew I had nothing to lose, how would I act and what would I choose?

• What are my core values?

• What is most important to me and how does this align with my values?

• What things/people/places make me feel the way I want or expect to feel?

• What is holding me back?

• What am I afraid of?

• What do I need to release that is no longer serving me?

• When I close my eyes, where do I see and feel myself one year from today, in all 12 areas of the IIN Circle of Life?

• What is one action step I can take in each area of growth, this coming month to get me closer?

I truly believe that when we place intention and attention to areas of our lives to create harmony, that energy propels our desires into physical reality. By setting clear intentions and directing our attention towards them, we build coherent focus that accelerates the manifestation process.

May you be blissful and free. May you know the joy of your own true nature.

All the love,

Pamela