One of the greatest gifts we have as humans is the opportunity for choices. Sometimes it can feel a bit overwhelming with so many options continuously thrown at us in all the media out there, but when we learn to connect with our authentic self, we come to realize that the road of choices narrows.
Possibly the most difficult and transformational decision of my life was to get a divorce. Not because I was conflicted about how I felt, but because I questioned if I could trust those feelings and I worried about how it would impact my life as I knew it and my children.
So often we allow our fear fueled feelings of what others might say or think about us, influence our decisions and we stay in situations that no longer serve us. Pushing through the fear of the unknown is so difficult and often we tell ourselves that changing is not an option, only because the fear of the unknown seems so much scarier than the discomfort of the current situation. Mix those feelings or worry and doubt in with the optimism that things can or will change or get better and it is no wonder why so many people stay in various situations longer than they should. It almost seems impossible at times. I want to bring attention to the reality that we always have a choice. Some of us are gifted with a life that we are born into that awards us more choices than others, but we all have the choice to decide who we want to show up as and how we want to view the world around us. Yes, I know, easier said than done, but nonetheless, we all have that choice. "There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere." ~ Nelson Mandela
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." ~ Nelson Mandela
Every path we choose has a journey for us and the end "destination" isn't always the purpose of the experience. One of the hardest things to do is to acknowledge a that choice we made once upon a time, is no longer working for us or serving us, and we need to pivot or let it go. When we have worked so very hard on something that hasn't come to fruition in the way we hoped or expected, it is so easy to feel like we have failed or were defeated. I have had one of the greatest perspective shifts in these last two and a half years post-divorce, which was arguably the most emotionally and personally disruptive phases of my life, not because it was the wrong choice, but because a BIG choice creates BIG change. Change feels scary but scary doesn't mean bad. It is never too late to choose different and follow your heart and your gut.
"I never lose, I either win or learn." ~ Nelson Mandela
I am so grateful for the support system I have that helped keep me grounded during the challenging times and I am now, so unbelievably grateful for the struggles I have been through because we can't get the pearl without the agitation of a grain of sand. Sometimes that pearl takes a while to form but if we can keep perspective of the big picture, the discomfort is just a natural part of life that just needs to be weathered.
I love the yogi term, "find the comfort within discomfort." As is the truth with most yoga poses, such is life. The satisfaction of honoring ourselves and putting the work in makes the pearl so much more precious once we receive it.
So how, you might ask, do we make such difficult life changing choices? For me it started with just small choices. Like which route I would take to get to work. What side of the bed would I get up on. How did I move through my morning routine, which is typically consistent. The key is to just start somewhere small that doesn't feel epic or stressful. What you are teaching your nervous system is that different isn't scary and doesn't mean danger. The more you can ease your way into little choices, the more momentum you build for the bigger ones. Momentum builds confidence and confidence builds momentum. When we make different choices, we get different results. Internal growth and work are very important, and I personally have a daily routine to keep my growth mindset healthy but remember that unless we take physical action, they are just ideas and things will remain the same. We need to set that momentum into motion.
I quoted Nelson Mandela so many times in this post because his story teaches us that we always have a choice. Even when all signs point to hopelessness, we can always choose different if our current situation isn't serving us, even if it is as simple as choosing to shift our state of mind.
In simple closing, I will end with another quote from Nelson Mandela. "May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fear." Share your love and light with the world and be your truest self, whatever that may be today, the world needs you!!
All the love,