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Feel all your feelings ~ Fully

I believe that time away from our day-to-day life is such an important part of growth and transformation. It provides a chance to reset and rediscover ourselves, letting go of the roles and expectations imposed by our lives and those around us. It creates space for our true selves to emerge, to be remembered, seen, and empowered. This weekend, during my two-day retreat in the rainforest of Florida, I had epiphanies and realizations that had been building in me for months. My gut has been trying to lead me with intuitions, my heart was screaming at me, and my throat was feeling tight and restricted. I assumed these feelings were signs that I needed to heal something that was broken in me. That there was "work" to be done so that I can feel peace. My mind was overthinking and trying to put clues together that would match this imaginative story of what I wanted to be true. When our mind and body disagree, that is often a sign that what we really need is to slow down, quiet the noise, listen our bodies and trust ourselves.



We are all born with an internal guidance system. When something feels like a yes in your mind, body, and soul, that is your green light to move forward. However, when there is dissonance between our energetic selves, that is usually a sign that we need to gain clarity and see where we are misaligned. All our sensations, feelings and emotions are here to help guide us and navigate us through our lives. They enable us to live our most authentic and fulfilled lives so our deepest desires can unfold before our eyes. In the past, I often got confused by not trusting or misinterpreting these signs, or I would try to suppress the uncomfortable experiences. I would take it as a sign that I had to get in there and start healing what was wrong or broken with me so that I wouldn't feel this way again. I would feel embarrassed, guilty or feel shame for "feeling" a certain way or judge myself for not being able to "handle" or "get over" the discomfort of the moment. I naively believed that if I wasn't feeling happiness, gratitude, fulfillment, or any other high vibration emotion, that I was "off" or doing something wrong and needed to fix it.


It has always been so easy for me to hold space and witness others in their moments of discomfort and dis-ease and know deeply that they are perfect just as they are, and nothing is broken or needs to be fixed. It has always been so easy for me to see, when witnessing others go through a challenging phase, that this is only a moment in time that will fertilize and plant the seeds for the next growth moment. I can easily honor and cherish their journey. So why has it always been so hard for me to turn the mirror on myself and offer myself that same grace, love and support as well as know that I deserve that same grace from others?


“I am not my thoughts, emotions, sense perceptions, and experiences. I am not the content of my life. I am Life. I am the space in which all things happen. I am consciousness. I am the Now. I Am.”

~ Eckhart Tolle


This last weekend has changed everything for me. A deep truth and knowing that has been only theory until now, has been illuminated. Feeling all the feelings, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to be honest with ourselves and others, knowing that self-love and freedom are on the other side. Having people in our lives who can hold safe sacred space so we can be our raw selves without judgement, is such a necessity for our emotional wellbeing.


  • What if we began to look at things differently?

  • What if we allowed all the feelings and sensations in our body to just be neutral information? I'm thinking of it in the same way as when we feel hunger pangs, we say to ourselves, or out loud to another, "I'm hungry" and then we seek out food. What if when we felt sensations in our bodies or feelings in our emotional body, we simply spoke of them as what they are, without labeling them "good" or 'bad" and not allowing it to define who we are but know it is what we are experiencing in this moment? From that neutral place, we can lovingly seek out nourishment. When we are hungry, we don't tell ourselves that we are annoying or needy for wanting food, so why when we need love or attention, or feel sad or angry, does that cause us to judge or criticize ourselves or allow others to?

  • What if when we felt an emotion or feeling, we simply stayed in the present moment, closed our eyes, and deeply connected to the sensations, and leaned in, no matter how uncomfortable it is?

  • What if we knew, in those moments, that they were just sensations that are temporary and do not define who we are?

  • What if we knew every sensation was our higher selves or source, sending us information and we started to listen with a curious, non-judgmental mind as we asked ourselves, what do I need to feel nourished in this moment?

  • What if we cared for ourselves the way we would care for our most treasured relationship and allowed the vulnerability to surrender to others caring for us in that way as well?


How liberating would this feel?! I feel my nervous system settling down already knowing that more often than not, there is no battle to be fought, there is no danger to run from, there is only the deep, rich experience of the present moment, and if we spend it wishing things were different than they are, that my friends, is the definition of suffering. So let's love ourselves and stop causing ourselves so much suffering and just be ok with ourselves, as we are, with all of the complexities that we have in our beautiful bodies that allow us to explore, expand, and experience this magical world around us!


This last weekend was incredibly expansive and transformational. At 43, I have finally learned to trust and accept all of the feelings and emotions that we all experience. At some age, we all began to categorize our feelings and emotions as good or bad, those we want to feel more of and those that we never want to feel again. The irony is that the more we try to ignore and resist what we feel, the more power it has over us. When we lean in and surrender, it's surprising how quickly the moment will pass. Our resistance to the feelings is often where most of our suffering stems from, not the feeling itself.


When talking to a friend, I shared my incredible experience of being the only guests at the entire retreat center this weekend. I recounted dancing in the rain with my best and oldest friend, feeling liberated and childlike. Instead of being disappointed by the downpour, we embraced the moment and all the sensations it had to offer. In response to my story, they said, "There is nothing wrong with romanticizing your life." I loved that so much because we, at every moment, have the opportunity to see the beauty and romance in the journey, or find the struggle. The magic is always in us and all around us. We just have to allow each moment to be what it is and not be too timid or squeamish about getting a little dirty or wet. The sun always comes back out.


All the love,

Pamela


PS: Save the Date: March 27-30, 2025!

EMERGE: An Intentional Vacation Experience


Danielle, Justine and I are thrilled to announce that we have officially booked the stunning Chozen Retreat in Florida's lush rainforest for our next all-inclusive destination retreat. Join us for an unforgettable experience where you can release your expectations and allow your true self to surface with love and grace.

Stay tuned for more information in the upcoming emails. We can't wait to share this transformative journey with you!









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